hey girl

I should probably be doing something productive but instead I live on tumblr.

landorus:

i feel like ‘restaurant’ shouldnt be spelled like that

(Source: kelvinbenjamin, via perks-of-being-chinese)

bombing:

cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas

me: you said i got one phone call

(via loweryourgaze)

alltimeloe:

marry someone whose laughter sounds better than your favorite song

(via pondering-duplexes)

me at home:i've been wearing the same jeans and band shirt for the last three weeks but it still smells alright so i'll keep wearing it
me going away:I NEED ONE SHIRT FOR EACH DAY AND EXTRA IN CASE IT GETS DIRTY AND THE SAME AMOUNT OF JEANS AND SOCKS ACTUALLY NO I'LL NEED EXTRA SOCKS IN CASE IT FLOODS AND DOUBLE THE UNDERWEAR IN CASE OF DISASTER AND ONE NICE OUTFIT IN CASE I GET INVITED TO TEA WITH THE QUEEN

legalmeth:

ok mom if you’re going to scream my name the least you could fucking do is respond to me when i say “WHAT” 20 times

(via schnabeltierp)

bunnyhoodlum:

i find bad jokes funnier than funny jokes

(Source: molgera, via orgasm)

jellys:

people that point out acne:

  1. pack ur bags
  2. buy a plane ticket
  3. go to hell

(via guy)

TotallyLayouts has Tumblr Themes, Twitter Backgrounds, Facebook Covers, Tumblr Music Player and Tumblr Follower Counter